M sister Gal and I went to see SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE. I wish stoopid Wes Anderson could watch Slumdog Millionaire and feel ashamed about the abomination that is Darjeeling Limited Too. Yes, I know they are completely different films, but Danny Boyle is the superior white person making a movie about India, okay?
****If you haven't watched Slumdog Millionaire, please STOP READING NOW.****
I totally thought I knew the answer to the Three Musketeers question on Millionaire. I even talked about it with my sister in the theater and started chanting my answer a little bit.
This is because when I was little, I watched a cartoon in Hebrew about the Three Musketeers, except that all the characters were dogs. When I saw the answer choices in the Millionaire question, I remembered Cardinal Richelieu, the bad guy from the show--an evil dog--so I knew that wasn't the answer. I also remembered D'Artangan, because his name is constantly repeated in the theme song. I also remembered he had a sword. So I was SURE the answer was D'Artangan.
Except it wasn't, and I'm a dumbass who thought I knew everything based on my hazy recollection of a dog cartoon.
Obvi, now is time for some dialogue from the sequel to Slumdog Millionaire, called Fdog Loser: Dog Show or Bust.
Cop: "But you didn't know the Musketeer question, DID YOU?" (Throws some gasoline on me)
Me: "I just remembered a dog! A fucking dog!" (Scream as I am lit on fire)
Cop: "Well then, how did you know what kind of paper a report card is made out of? Huh?"
Me: "My sister Yael once wiped her butt with my sister Gal's report card and then sold it on the black market. Hah."
Cop slaps me.
Etc. etc.
Sad story.
Here is the amazing intro song to Dogtanian and the Muskerhounds in Hebrew:
And here it is, with video, in English:
And here is an amazing article explaining the show: http://www.phantomframe.co.uk/dogtanian.htm
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