F that S

Sometimes, having lots of holidays off of work kind of sucks. I thought I would love all the holidays in Israel, but this week was just draining. The Yom Ha'Shoah/Yom Ha'Zikaron/Yom Ha'atzmaut combo is a little too much for my frail mind to take.

Plus, why does everyone in this country insist on being such rabid misogynists? It makes me want to start a riot grrrrl band. I just want to be talked to like a regular human being, instead of feeling like some pretty, pretty princess who gets dolled up to go out and giggle at everyone's jokes or some shit. Barf-o.

In conclusion, this week, with its mouse, its people-making-fun-of-my-mouse-videos, and its psychological mindfuck of holidays, ain't done me no good.

I am longing for American holidays, holidays that are about nothing but shopping, even when they pretend to be about something else. Actually, no I'm not. Writing that sentence just made me feel a lot better about living in Israel. Problem solved.

Trapped!

Mousecapades, part 2










He's sideways, but you get the gist.

The Mouse!!!

Here is a reality-tv-confessional video/vlog/whatever that I made because I am scared of the mouse in my apartment. And yes, my voice sounds like Kermit and my hands are weird. Shuttup. And I'm stuffed up in this video, so weird breathing, too. Deal with it.

I'm Not Cryin', It's Just Been Raining . . . on My Face

Just now, I cried during Survivor again. The show brought the contestants' loved ones to the island for a mission, and the reunions were just as melodramatic as any other Israeli interaction ever. Everyone was running toward their loved one in slow-mo and then the camera spun around the two figures hugging and crying. It's like, chill, you haven't seen your family for 40 days. Big whoop. But whaevs. When one girl hugged her mommy, I shed a tear. I am whack.

The pic above is of Yoav, this lame-ass who is obsessed with his girlfriend
"Jackie." He talks about her constantly and cries about the fact that she's not with him. Their reunion cracked me up.

I'm Hungry

Whenever people see a skeletal looking person, they say that person should "eat a sandwich or something." Why? Sandwiches never fill me up. They're not even real food. How about a big tub 'o creamy pasta with mushrooms? Yum. Or a big steak with mashed potatoes? Or even a big salad with some bread?

But a sandwich? Puh-lease.

The Britney Spears Film "Crossroads" Has Gone Nuthin on This

I'm going to Petra! Yippee!Let's hope I don't get desert madness and start shooting my gun into the sky a la Yoni in A Perfect Peace. Uhhh, spoiler alert?

CULTS: They're So "Crazy" and Completely Different from Us!

Yesterday, I hung out with my parents' friend Raia (yes, I hang out with my parents' friends, shuttup) and had Shabbat dinner. Then, we watched a news expose on cults in Israel. David Koresh was mentioned. I enjoyed the Waco shout-out. The report also called messianic Judaism a cult, but I immediately fell asleep at that point, since it was just like listening to my friend Baruch tell lullaby-like stories of his messianic family. Go figure.

The reporters kept caling all the cults mentioned "crazy" and "insane" without really explaining what makes people join cults or what the cult leaders were even preaching. It was a very non-enlightening report.

One thing that caught my attention, though, was the reporter's focus on all the incentives that cult leaders provide their followers. They often lure followers with monetary support and tell them they'll find love/a partner in the cult.

This reminded me of this large intentional community in the Middle East that lures Jewish youth into it using monetary grants, educational subsidies, and the promise of Jewish love.

See what I did there?