Thank God I'm Getting a Job

So, if it isn't apparent already, ever since I stopped having a job in November, I've been watching massive amounts of TV. My unemployment status ends on Monday (eeep!), but for now, most of my experiences involve THE TUBE, that old-timey mesmerizing machine of yesteryear. Yesterday, I watched a documentary called Welcome to Tehran where this journalist dude hangs out in Tehran, basically. He interviewed a bunch of people, and a lot of the time, their descriptions of Iran seemed very apt as descriptions for Israel, too. But that's probably because I'm self-centered and relate every TV show to ME AND MY LIFE. (This is completely unrelated, but every time I say the word 'television' in my head, it sounds the way Kenneth would
say it on 30 Rock).

One woman, who runs a cancer non-profit, was saying: Most of my friends have left Iran, but if everyone leaves, who will show the world that we're not really what we seem to them? There will be no one to change things if everyone left.

(And then I was tearing up and yelling "Yeah!" at the TV.)

Then at the end of the doc, the journalist said: The residents of Tehran face many problems, one of them being living in a congested, overpopulated city. And they face a government which seems more and more out of touch with its people. But Iranians have a deep love of their country.

I felt like he was speaking right to me! I know Iran is different from Israel in a lot of ways, but in many ways it's the same. So many people leave or want to leave Israel, and many people have given up on it. No one expects anything good to come out of our government. Yet some of us still live here. A lot of "us" are crazy (and thus are not people I want to put in an "us" category, but more of a "them"), but some of us, aka me, are not crazy! Well, I guess I can be a little crazy, but at least I'm not a racist religious fanatic, so that's a start!

The journalist also talked about the Iranian tradition of offering people things that they're supposed to refuse. The journalist's cab driver invited him to dinner
at his house, and the journalist said yes. After a while, the cab driver and the translator told him about how Persians offer you things like paintings or food that you're really supposed to say no to, and the journalist got embarrassed. This brought back some memories. Chris, I still owe you for doing all those awesome, undeserved favors for me that I was really supposed to say no to.
But whatevs, you offered.

In other tantalizing television news, Shulamit Aloni was featured on a political talk show (aka yelling show) yesterday! She's a little old lady now, but she kicked the asses of the conservative panelists on the show. It was inspiring. She did all the yelling I do at the TV for me. This entire war, I haven't seen ANY progressive voices on TV and it's PISSED ME OFF. (Among other things which have pissed me off). Aloni was a long-awaited voice of wisdom. Whenever the other panelists tried to point out some "fact", she would just yell "no, not true" and shake her head at them. And then a woman called in from Southern Israel talking about how she's for the war but she really "feels for Arabs" and "has a bunch of Arab friends." She actually said "I have Arab friends!" WTF? Sorry, that little story was unrelated to Aloni's awesomeness but I just had to share the retardation. Then, Shulamit Aloni was going on and on about how Israel made Gaza into a jail and the conservative guy said "and who's fault is that?" (that's what they all say on these stupid shows) and Aloni yelled "it's the occupation's fault!"

She brought down the house. Best little old lady ever. Except for my grandma, of course.

In conclusion, there's been some good stuff on TV. The end.

No fightin'; (Shakira, Shakira...)

Here is a SHOCKING fact. Did you know that Hamas uses children as human shields? Children!

Actually, that practice has been disputed and greatly exaggerated. That argument is just an excuse for Israel to target civilians.

Israel doesn't target civilians. Hamas targets civilians by shooting rockets into residential areas of Israel. Israel is just trying to target terrorists but sometimes there are civilian casualties.

Well, technically since Gaza isn't a state, everyone there is a civilian.

But Israel is entitled to self-protection when other entities try to harm its citizens.

Hamas is just using these rockets as self-defense. Gazans are stuck in what essentially is an open air prison. Their rockets are small and not very harmful compared to what Israel is using on them. Barely any Israelis have even died from these rocket attacks.

But Israel has developed an advanced alarm system and a shelter system for its citizens in the South, which is why its citizens are better protected from rockets.

Hamas does not have the budget to protect its citizens to this degree, because they do not receive as much international aid. Actually, Gazans barely have access to basic supplies.

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Guys, pls stop fightin cos M.F. iz hurr 2 save the day duhz.

Also,

"Am Israel Pi" Graffiti in Tel Aviv (um duh it's a play on Am Israel Chai--the Nation of Israel Lives)

sleepiness = a list for you

1. The night of New Year's I took a cab ride to Tel-Aviv with a driver who, the entire ride, was holding up a torn piece of newspaper with some woman's picture on it. Thought he was going to kill me, but he didn't. He just dropped me off at my friend Alex/Aviv's house.

2. Had a weirdo allergic reaction the night of New Year's, which involved lack of breathing, a swollen eye, and me not able to feel my bottom lip. Thankfully, Aviv's friend Yuval had an inhaler and saved the day. The eye didn't heal that night though. I looked HOT during New Year's, let me tell ya! Here's the proof:You can laugh at me all you want.

3. After I started breathing a little better, we went to a GOTH CLUB in South Tel-Aviv(!). They played a metal/punk/something version of Umbrella. There were also lots of people wearing Santa hats. Since my dream in life is to be a '90s teenager I was beaming. Beaming with a swollen eye = not right.

4. Lots of other stuff happened, including me going to Jerusalem, which was rather nice, surprisingly. I took a 20-minute walk through the park and talked to some jolly American Orthodox Jews. I even made friends on the bus, Sarah Godner style! I tried to take pictures for the blog, but alas, I suck at doing that.

5. I feel an irrational sense of happiness living here. Things just feel right. Just thought I should say that? Shablam?

Awkward transition time:
6. War update: We're all still scared for my cousin. Her coworker videochatted with her after a rocket hit his neighbor's house today. Eeek, I say. I am really upset that Israel is now putting ground forces, including reserves forces (!) into Gaza. I am very concerned (understatement of the year) for Gazans' safety. I'm also worried for the soldiers, one of which is a boy I used to tutor in Dallas. I personally don't agree with the way this whole operation has been put on, but again, I'm still not comfortable talking about this on the interwebs. I might send some of you a personal email about it. Hmmm.

Okay, it's 2 am here. I should sleep, right? Right!

Laziest update ever. I'll learn to write properly on this thing at one point. Meh.

Update: Ido, the kid I used to babysit/tutor, is not going into Gaza, for now at least, since he hasn't been in the army for long enough. Phew, for now.

think before you blog

I am avoiding unpacking so I will write a blogspot separated into a "wartime" section and an "other" section.

Wartime for F.
Okay, I've calmed down a bit. The last couple of posts were written in the heat of the moment and some of the things I wrote do not actually make any sense (for example, I know that the purpose of the Gaza offensive isn't to kill civilians, even though some civilians are dying--though I tend to feel uneasy about saying a military offensive is or is not meant to kill civilans. I'll just stop talking now). I guess what I'm saying is: please don't treat the last two posts as solid, coherent political commentary.

I'm going to try not to comment too much on the political situation for a bit since I have a hard time writing anything profound when "the situation" escalates. It's just bewildering to me and I don't even know where to begin. One day, hopefully soon, I'll be able to write about my political leanings. If anything, the latest crisis is making me want to sit down and learn to express my feelings about it without getting swept up in rhetoric or emotion. Actually, learning to talk about anything without getting too swept up in emotion should probably be my general life goal.

So for political commentary, I will point you to someone who can be practical and talk strategy without going into histrionics: David Grossman. Here's what he wrote in Ha'Aretz: http://www.haaretz.com/hasen/spages/1051008.html

Other than that, I'm going to stay mum on all of this because what can I say?

"Other"
1. Hulu doesn't work in Israel! Time for me to cry about it.
2. I've already eaten two cottage cheese sandwiches. Israeli cottage cheese is unparalleled. Unparalleled!
3. My mommy made me a surprise blanket that I found in my suitcase last night. She sewed on pictures of the F.mily (pictures printed on fabric) to this really soft blanket and it is very cute. This present made me feel very Eema-otional.
4. Here is video of people clapping in the plane when we arrived in Tel Aviv. I must say, their clapping is a little unenthusiastic, no? I also didn't know how to make the video right-side up. Meh.



That's all for now. Time for me to listen to NWA, unpack, and call my cousin 300 times. Lehitraot!

i'm expressing with my full capabilities, and now i'm living in correctional facilities

I moved to Israel today. I'm really jetlagged. My cousin is going to dodge some qasaam rockets at work tomorrow. Why are the IDF and Hamas starting so much drama right now? Everyone seems scared and upset. Not an auspicious day to move here, I guess.

Someone actually told me today "Hope you have a nice adjustment period with no qasaams." Eema'le! (But the qasaams are not hitting my city so don't worry about me--for now they're just hitting Ashkelon and Ashdod. My cousin works in Ashdod but they barely got any qasaams today so she'll be fine.)

Plus, all the news anchors have been using the word "war" way too much. I do not like this. I will most likely try to ignore this by watching a lot of 30 Rock and having tea parties with stuffed animals.

January 20, please come! Barry, save the day.

Okay I'm going to stop talking about "current events" now. New Year's is two days away and I might go out to Tel-Aviv yay yay fun fun.

Also, my flight was hilarious. More on this later. I'm going to go to sleep now. Just needed an incoherent jetlagged post.