Saturday, June 27, 2009

Distraction!


This is a photo of people having candle wax dripped on their backs. I took this photo today while watching an Israeli game show called "Distracted," where contestants have to answer basic questions while placed in very distracting positions. Such as having HOT WAX dripped on them! Doesn't that technically count as torture?

Then, the winning contestant, Benny, who squealed a lot in a high voice, had to answer more questions. When he got a question wrong, the contestants who had lost earlier destroyed one of his prizes by hitting them with hammers. He was left with the non-destroyed items.
The two items they destroyed were a digital camera and a computer.

I... have no words.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Anthem Du Jour

This week needs to end now.

I've been listening to this old school song on repeat:



It is a song about how the world stinks, from New York to Rafiach. And that some girl is being mean to the singer--sometimes she understands him, and sometimes she's a bitch. She's not very clear. It is also a song about how we're all racist.

My favorite part of the video is when the band rides around in a garbage truck (sidenote: I was seriously about to type "trash van." I wish I knew how to speak English.). I like their garbage truck shenanigans because I relate to them--being on a bus for 2 hours a day is kinda like being on a garbage truck, but with more gross people shoving their bodies on you. And with more yelling.

I can also relate to this song, because I, like the girl who is taunting the singer, am often a "bat zona." I don't sit around my room in white underwear smoking cigarettes, though.

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Father Facts

I don't care about made-up American holidays, which usually don't even involve the most important part of holidays: food. But, today I've been reading all this "stuff" about Father's Day, and then I started missing my dad! And then I teared up. I wasn't even prompted by a reality show to cry. I just did it!

Anyways, my aba is a character. He is out of control. So I figured I should write a post about him. But not because it's Father's Day because that's stupid.

So here are some fun facts about my father:

1. He wears an earring instead of a wedding band.

2. He often starts whispering mid-sentence instead of talking.

3. He calls my siblings and me "hot dogs" ("naknikiot").

4. When we have chocolate in the house, he often hides it and eats it all himself.

5. He is a walking encyclopedia of rock and roll history and is basically a hipster. His favorite band is Dengue Fever (and he drove to New York with his BFF to see them--bahaha). He also went through a Texas swing music phase. Yeah, I dunno.

6. My mom made posters of this picture of him in his '20s, when he still had his golden curls and looked Jim Morrison-esque. I used to have this poster in my house in Austin, and all my friends became his fans based on the poster. I guess it's a little odd to own a poster of your dad, but my mom is just really into making posters of us. Uhhh, yeah.

7. He is obsessed with my dog Phoebe, though he spells her name "Fibi." One time he said "Phoebe is my best friend" and it was the funniest thing ever.

8. My 15-year-old brother and my dad often have heart-to-hearts.

9. He "tans" outside for five minutes every day because he's super pale.

10. For a couple of years, he wouldn't let me get glasses because he was really into these eye exercises that improve your vision, and made me do those instead of getting glasses. I only got glasses in college when I was away from his watchful eye. He's seriously too into alternative medicine.

Hope you enjoyed these TRUE FACTS.

Saturday, June 20, 2009

Are You There, God? It's Me, Margaret

Copyright Noam F. 2009

Little notes:
  • Today is stoopid and I am not in a good mood, but this drawing I just received from my lil brother just made everything all better. Almost. This drawing (and the others I received) sure are wonderful.
  • You know you've assimilated in Israel when you think it's appropriate to wear a Longhorns belly shirt to yoga class. I feel both embarrassed and empowered by this apparel decision.
Longer notes:
  • I went to this huge festival in Jaffa the other day, and I still assert that it's the best city in Israel. There were all these literary journals there for sale featuring both Arab and Jewish writers; they had both Arab and Jewish musical artists; the festival had all this lefty political pamphlets around; and there were lots of Arabs and Jews frolicking around and coexisting peacefully. It brought a tear to my eye. It was like a glimpse into the peaceful future that I've decided this country is going to have.
  • After the festival, we walked around beautiful Jaffa and stumbled into a dance partay in the street. It was almost Austin-y. We only danced for ten minutes but I haven't had that much fun dancing in a while. Jaffa is the paragon of cities.
Okay, I'm gonna go listen to NWA and then sing some songs about night cheese to end this little mood I'm in. See you suckaz l8r.


Thursday, June 11, 2009

My Annabel Leigh Moment

So you know how I wrote that post the other day about my deep-seated desires of being a '90s Israeli teen? Well, here's a confession.

In 4th or 5th grade, when I was still living in Israel (moved to Texas in 6th grade), I read this book, which became my favorite book. Not Eva-Hoffman-favorite, but close. I'll tell you about that book in a sec, but I'd also like to note that that same year, I read a choose-your-own-adventure book where I was a knight, but I quickly "died" because I chose to go to some "sweet-smelling flowers" that were actually POISON. I still haven't recovered from that. Anyways, the favorite, non-choose-your-own-adventure book (though I certainly would have chosen its adventure!) was about this 17-year-old girl who has a blue streak in her hair (which I soooo wanted to get), whose parents move to the US right before she starts her senior year of high school. But instead of going with them, she stays in Israel and lives on her own or something? I don't remember who she lives with. She is a badass, though.

She says she doesn't want to move to the US because she doesn't want to date some "Brandon Walsh" type dude. THAT IS HER REASONING. Obvi, homegirl didn't think that DYLAN is also in the US, but WHATEVER. Steve Sanders might be a counterargument to the argument I just made, so carry on.

At one point, she goes to visit her parents in the States and has to go to some benefit for Israel (?) with all these rich Jewz. And she narrates that she doesn't understand why all these rich Jews just throw money at Israel and pretend that they love it so much even though they DON'T LIVE THERE! A.B. Yehoshua, is that you?

I wish I could find this book! I'd write in to Fine Lines at Jezebel, but unfortch, Israeli young adult novels are not their specialty.

I hope that sharing my affinity for this book has given you more insight into who I am. And if you know the title of this book, you know what to do! (Find it and read it. It'll "change your life," in a Zach-Braff-film kinda way).

Google Times

Someone googled "ice cube fashion tel aviv" to find my blog. I'd say that's the most accurate description of mfthewebsite that I've ever seen!

Saturday, June 6, 2009

Last Cigarettes...

I have been in a Wilco phase like whoa. In particular, I've been listening to "We're Just Friends" on repeat, but also just listening to Yankee Hotel Foxtrot constantly. Perhaps it's because Wilco reminds me of Texas, and I'm missing summer days of swimming/eating enchiladas at Trudy's/falling asleep/vintage shopping/beer. Perhaps it's because the song We're Just Friends is so heartbreaking! Call a waaaambulance for me, pls.



It's just so sad! He doesn't want to be just friends, but he's deluding himself! Oh god!

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Hey, It's the '90s!

I've been keeping these vintage Aviv Geffen videos up in my tabs all day, and they're making me Internet slow, so it's time to unleash them onto you. The vids are from one of my favorite shows from childhood--Inyan shel Zman ("A Matter of Time"). The show is about cool Israeli '90s high school kids with ratty hair, who I always wished I could be. Basically my move to Israel is just me trying to be a '90s Israeli teenager.





(Ah, her leather jacket is AMAZING.)

Aw, shit, I'll just throw this in as well: This next vid is Yermi Kaplan's Kvar Achshav (which is on the radio all the time). It was the theme song for another '90s classic show, Hafuch ("Upside Down"). I don't even remember what this show was about, except that post-army Israeli characters traveling in India were somehow involved. Naturally.



(Also, yikes, what is the deal with his hair? Eeek.)

(Oh, and all the characters' dresses--omg!)

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Finally Facing My Waterloo

Everyone who knows me IRL knows I love to ham it up in kareoke with my terrible voice. Singing badly in public is something I just like to do.

Another thing I like is the movie-musical Mamma Mia. Embarrasingly enough, I have seen it five times in theaters. One of those times was a sing-a-long at Alamo Drafthouse where I sat on my row's table, facing the entire theather, and did a Collin Firth impersonation as he sang Our Last Summer. That is how strongly I feel about Mamma Mia.

For my little brother's fifteenth birthday, I recorded the ABBA song Slipping Through My Fingers (which is in Mamma Mia), but with my own lyrics. My friend Aaron helped me record it at the film school at UT, in what he told me was a soundproof room. Apparently the room wasn't soundproof at all and people were asking WTF the noises from inside were. Aaron didn't laugh the entire time but later told me he only did that so I wouldn't feel self-conscious, and that my singing was the most redic thing he'd ever heard.

At my goodbye party in Austin, I performed Slipping Through My Fingers for some reason to a bajillion people. The proof:


The point of all this information is that I have found my Internet twin:



She also does a really bad Shakira impression.

If she starts making mouse videos, I'm outta here.